If you’re new to online dating then you might fall into a few traps which mean you’re limiting your chances of hooking a date. Thankfully, we’ve some top advice on what to avoid when starting out dating online…
1: Picking the wrong site and/or package
It’s tempting to choose the dating website with the most members, and there are certainly benefits to that approach. However, it also means more competition from other members, and there are benefits to other sites which you might not find on the mainstream dating websites.
If you’ve a particular interest, lifestyle choice or interest, for example, it’s worth looking for a site which caters to that. Several will allow you to search for keywords, which can help you to focus in on members who share your preferences. Other dating sites are designed with particular fetishes or interests in mind. It’s always worth checking the search parameters for a dating site you’re interested in using, to make sure you have enough bespoke options to help you find your ideal date. Another issue facing many newbies is that they’re not on the most beneficial package or deal. Check what the site offers for longer-term contracts – whilst some people find dates immediately and don’t need to reuse the site, a lot of people take longer, and some shop around, so you can save a lot of money if you simply pay for a long-term package. These often come with added bonuses and features, giving even better value for money.
2: Not searching effectively
Aside from checking the search options for each site you’re interested in, we also recommend making sure you understand search options and choose them properly. Whilst it’s important to find someone who (quite literally) ticks your boxes, we recommend altering your search choices now and then. This makes sure you don’t stagnate and won’t need to keep browsing through the same profiles again and again. Some sites may offer an “ignore in future searches” option, which is great if you’re sure you’re not interested in a particular member, because they will be excluded from future searches. Try a few options out to see how your results vary.
New members can be inclined to send dozens, or even hundreds, of messages to members when they first sign up. Some sites even offer to do this on your behalf, sending pre-written (or editable) messages to groups of your matches at once. We generally feel this is a mistake. Whilst it might save time in writing, it can be quite obvious to members if they receive a non-bespoke message, and they might be less inclined to reply to you in the future. As such, new members can harm their future prospects by being too flippant and eager in the beginning. A much more successful approach might be to write a few general messages, and then to tailor them to each member you write to. Or, simply write a brand new message for each member you approach, it’ll seem much more personal and we think you’d be more likely to receive a positive response.
4: Not updating a profile
Your profile page is your personal advert, as well as a great resource for other members to find out about your life. If they like what they see, they’ll get in touch. As such, providing lots of information about your hobbies, interests, outlooks and more, is a good way to gain attention. However, we also recommend updating your profile fairly regularly. This shows that you’re an active member who will respond to requests, and it allows you to develop your page as you wish. After all, would you be likely to write to a member who hasn’t changed their profile in a few years?
5: Taking it personally
By its very nature, the internet makes us feel somewhat anonymous. Dating websites remove some of that, and we lay our lives out for others to view. This has the potential to be mean that we’ll take any rejections more personally, but it’s often not the case when it comes to online dating. Sometimes members become overloaded with messages, sometimes they don’t log on, other times they’ve met someone but haven’t updated their profile. Or, yes, perhaps they did check your messages and profile page, but decided you weren’t a good match. Don’t take it personally, that’s the nature of dating websites. There are myriad reasons why attempts don’t always work out, it’s best just to forgive, forget, and move on.
Understanding the tools a site offers, and remaining active online, are great ways to make the most of your online dating account. Remember, online dating is meant to be fun, and you’ll get the most for your money if you can personalise your experience.